I need a day off just to take of all the little things that I've let pile up and have now become major issues. I get very overwhelmed very easily.
Last weekend, I saw Michael Buble in concert at the UCF Arena. I was worried that the show would be boring, although I really like his music. The show was awesome! He was so funny, kept everything very light. At point, he segued into Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit. And his opening act is a group called Naturally 7, seven men who use their voices for song and for sound (as mimicking a musical instrument). The man who did percussion and the one who voiced the bass were the best of the group. Their music was Christian in type, but it was very enjoyable.
I was worried because I bought the tickets for my mom as a birthday gift, and I was not sure that the crooner/swing part of Michael Buble would interest her. Lucky for me that we had good seats and the two plus hours seemed to fly by. Even if you didn't know MB's original songs, the standards were great. The money was well spent.
I think I want to learn to knit. The reason? I need a skill. Having a technical mind notwithstanding, I have no abilities with my hands, voice, etc. I can't draw, my voice is pretty awful (I don't even have those half-witted friends who would lie to me and say I sing well to get me on American Idol), and my athletic abilities are only seen in my dreams. I saw a really cool picture book at Borders and I think I can take on this challenge.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Dirty is Perpetual; Clean is a Pipe Dream
Explain to me why my house cannot stay clean for more than a few days? And just because it's not clean (in the sense that I would not want company over), doesn't automatically put you in the "dirty" category. I prefer the term "messy", as in I need to pick up my clothes (on the floor) and I need to put away the dishes (at least I managed to wash them). And when you work six days a week, spending your only day off cleaning up is not really something to look forward to.
My favorite quick clean routine consists of Febreeze, $1 Store Orange Wipes, and my Ipod. Febreeze is the greatest invention; it gives the illusion of clean without any strenuous work. If I could just apply those principles to my own life. No more poochy belly - just spray! All my electronic components working in harmony -just spray. Irony is that I can get rid of poochy belly because stereo/playstation/wii/hd tuner refuse to work in tandem and I'm constantly up and down trying to plug/unplug components as necessary.
And why do I live in the remotest part of the world where I get no over-the-air HD channels? I have a gift for picking out places to live with limited access to electronic media. And how did I go from talking about my housekeeping abilities to my HD-dysfunction?
My favorite quick clean routine consists of Febreeze, $1 Store Orange Wipes, and my Ipod. Febreeze is the greatest invention; it gives the illusion of clean without any strenuous work. If I could just apply those principles to my own life. No more poochy belly - just spray! All my electronic components working in harmony -just spray. Irony is that I can get rid of poochy belly because stereo/playstation/wii/hd tuner refuse to work in tandem and I'm constantly up and down trying to plug/unplug components as necessary.
And why do I live in the remotest part of the world where I get no over-the-air HD channels? I have a gift for picking out places to live with limited access to electronic media. And how did I go from talking about my housekeeping abilities to my HD-dysfunction?
Monday, February 4, 2008
Lie Down With The Dogs, Get Up With A Black Eye?
The first game of the soccer season was yesterday, the Over-30 Division C League, that is. I brought the camera to get some action shots, but I was not that quick on the draw. I ended up with shots of guys standing around waiting for the ball to come to them.
The best part was when Steve shoved an opposing player for no reason, causing the crowd to call him a "hot head". Turns out that the ball smacked Steve in the eye and he was pushing the opponent from him because he couldn't see. Of course, I missed that shot, too.
The Dirt Dogs (Steve's team) lost 2-1. Steve walked away with a cool black eye, instead of some lame non-visual and therefore not very believeable injury.
The best part was when Steve shoved an opposing player for no reason, causing the crowd to call him a "hot head". Turns out that the ball smacked Steve in the eye and he was pushing the opponent from him because he couldn't see. Of course, I missed that shot, too.
The Dirt Dogs (Steve's team) lost 2-1. Steve walked away with a cool black eye, instead of some lame non-visual and therefore not very believeable injury.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Still Here
It's been a while since my last post. I find it hard to figure out what to put down in writing.
My brother's wedding is coming up fast (August 8) and I still don't have a dress. As usual, I've allowed myself no time to get one, and so I've set myself up for failure. This is a common theme in my life.
I went to the beach yesterday with Steve. I love the ocean; it truly is where I desire to be. I found it so relaxing, up until the point I was scared out of my mind by a manatee passing two feet from me in the water. It was like a giant black sea monster, in less than 5 feet of water and less than 50 feet from shore.
Notwithstanding my brush with fear, I think I want to visit the beach every weekend. Either that, or Steve better get us a key to the pool.
My brother's wedding is coming up fast (August 8) and I still don't have a dress. As usual, I've allowed myself no time to get one, and so I've set myself up for failure. This is a common theme in my life.
I went to the beach yesterday with Steve. I love the ocean; it truly is where I desire to be. I found it so relaxing, up until the point I was scared out of my mind by a manatee passing two feet from me in the water. It was like a giant black sea monster, in less than 5 feet of water and less than 50 feet from shore.
Notwithstanding my brush with fear, I think I want to visit the beach every weekend. Either that, or Steve better get us a key to the pool.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Crazy In Love
This weekend, Keith Urban will be the musical guest on Saturday Night Live. Yes, it's sort of silly how excited I am over this. I never claimed to be normal.
So you've all seen the news about the female astronaut who drove from Houston to Orlando to do god-knows-what to a woman (another astronaut) whom she believed was stealing her boyfriend (who is.....you guessed it....an astronaut). I'm not really sure why their occupation matters. Astronaut, teacher, hotel maid, we are all one-step away from becoming that pyscho-girlfriend.
If you can't relate, well, it's because you've never loved passionately. Passion brings out such intense emotions. When it's good, it's the best ever. There is no better feeling than passionate love. When it's bad, oh my god, watch out. Those moments, you can convince yourself that driving to Orlando wearing diapers is a good thing, or that breaking down the apartment door is necessary because you simply have to talk to your lover.
Some women just love really hard, that's all. There's a saying that most women are two drinks away from being lesbian. I say there are a even higher number of us that, when faced with a cheating partner, will go to even more extreme lengths.
While I sit here and type this, the news is inundated with the story of this lady. I might not have pepper-sprayed somebody (god knows I certainly wanted to inflict bodily harm when I was the pyscho ex-girlfriend), but her emotions and behavior are not that far-fetched.
I mean, after all, who steals someone's shoes?
So you've all seen the news about the female astronaut who drove from Houston to Orlando to do god-knows-what to a woman (another astronaut) whom she believed was stealing her boyfriend (who is.....you guessed it....an astronaut). I'm not really sure why their occupation matters. Astronaut, teacher, hotel maid, we are all one-step away from becoming that pyscho-girlfriend.
If you can't relate, well, it's because you've never loved passionately. Passion brings out such intense emotions. When it's good, it's the best ever. There is no better feeling than passionate love. When it's bad, oh my god, watch out. Those moments, you can convince yourself that driving to Orlando wearing diapers is a good thing, or that breaking down the apartment door is necessary because you simply have to talk to your lover.
Some women just love really hard, that's all. There's a saying that most women are two drinks away from being lesbian. I say there are a even higher number of us that, when faced with a cheating partner, will go to even more extreme lengths.
While I sit here and type this, the news is inundated with the story of this lady. I might not have pepper-sprayed somebody (god knows I certainly wanted to inflict bodily harm when I was the pyscho ex-girlfriend), but her emotions and behavior are not that far-fetched.
I mean, after all, who steals someone's shoes?
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
What I Should Be Doing
Why is it that the most important things to be done, I can't find the focus or energy to accomplish them? Here's what I'm avoiding, and what I'm actually doing:
1. I have a test to study for. I have a very important-looking 500-page manual (which I love to carry around but never actually open) that can help me pass the test. Instead I opened up the good ol' laptop, and went right to myspace to post a blog about me not studying.
2. There is laundry to do. I folded some laundry this morning before I walked out and sadly, while I was at work, the magical laundry fairy did not show up and put it away. So disappointed was I in the magic fairy's failures, and confident that he will appear tomorrow, that I left the laundry for him.
3. I need to be exercising. This weighs heavily (pun intended) on my mind. I need more energy (so I can be studying and putting away laundry) and exercising is the key to that. However, it's 8:00 p.m. and Beauty and the Geek is on TV.
Okay, I'm signing off and getting out my highlighter.
1. I have a test to study for. I have a very important-looking 500-page manual (which I love to carry around but never actually open) that can help me pass the test. Instead I opened up the good ol' laptop, and went right to myspace to post a blog about me not studying.
2. There is laundry to do. I folded some laundry this morning before I walked out and sadly, while I was at work, the magical laundry fairy did not show up and put it away. So disappointed was I in the magic fairy's failures, and confident that he will appear tomorrow, that I left the laundry for him.
3. I need to be exercising. This weighs heavily (pun intended) on my mind. I need more energy (so I can be studying and putting away laundry) and exercising is the key to that. However, it's 8:00 p.m. and Beauty and the Geek is on TV.
Okay, I'm signing off and getting out my highlighter.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Signs
I've been so wrapped up in my daily hectic life (basically I've been working waaaaaay too much), that I have forgotten or neglected certain people and things in my life. Someone or something (God, Buddha, Karma....you pick) intervened and sent me some pretty clear signals that I need to change my ways.
Now if you are a regular viewer of my blogs (or work with me, or talk to me on any basis) you know I am addicted to Starbucks. There are some people who compare my desire for my White Chocolate Mocha to those addicted to far worse substances....like smoking or drugs or hogging the tv remote. This, however, has not swayed me in my (now) daily quest for the green-and-white logoed coffee that costs me $6 (I always buy a bottle of water - somehow that makes it less bad for me, like drinking Diet Coke is sooooo much better than regular Coke). So let me get to the point, the signs. Last week, I had two rather disturbing instances that caused me not to have Starbucks that day. The first episode involved me pulling into a parking space at Starbucks, while another patron was backing out. Now, I clearly had the right-of-way as I was almost into the space when my not-so-observerant neighbor was backing out of her space. I thought she could see me, but she kept right on backing up and was millimeters from my car when I finally honked my horn and she stopped. I clearly saw this as a not-so-subtle method of telling me not to get out of my car but to instead flee the Starbucks scene, which I did.
The second instance was less dramatic (although I will gladly kick it up if need be). I was in line at Starbucks, planning to order my White Chocolate Mocha when the cashier tells the patron three people ahead of me that they are out of hot lids. What? Huh? It's only 8:30 in the morning and you have no to-go lids for hot coffee? Could you just run now the street and borrow some from THAT Starbucks? But back to my story, I was so disappointed to hear that, I left the line, not even considering switching to a frappuccino drink, thereby gaining me a drink because they use different lids for cold drinks. I left sans Starbucks.
And the only signs don't pertain to Starbucks, but I haven't figured out the meaning of this sign, although it was very very obvious there was something behind it.
I recently bought a new bottle of hair conditioner. The day came when my current bottle was empty and I transfered my new bottle into the shower. The morning in question I was looking forward to new experience, and I got into the shower and immediately started daydreaming about winning the lottery. (Don't ask, but that's what I do in the shower, daydream about winning the lottery. This is most definitely the reason I will never win the lottery, besides the fact that I don't buy a ticket, the fact that I fantasize about it....) Anyway, I pour a whole heaping amount of conditioner in my hand and I start to massage it in my hair. And that's when I realize that this conditioner is pretty darn soapy and I am getting concerned. I squint at the bottle (because I'm blind as a bat) and it says SHAMPOO! So I've effectively experienced the miracle of turning Conditioner to Shampoo because I will bet eveything (including my lottery winnings) that I definitely and unequivocably bought Conditioner at CVS. So now I have a head full of shampooed (which means when it dries it will be like straw) hair. I'm not happy.
So I figure I will use the generic bottle of conditioner in the shower in order to counter-act the effects of this mistake, so I once again dump a huge amount in my hand and commence with the massaging of the hair, and guess what? MORE SOAPINESS! What??? I look at the generic bottle and I've just dumped more shampoo (and to make it worse it's the stuff that even the Dollar Store doesn't carry) on my scalp. My hair is going to fall out. I'm now moaning, and NOT in a good way. It takes me 15 minutes to rinse all of this stuff out of my head and my hair is drying quickly, even under the full blast of the running water.
My hair survived that day, after I used a bottle of leave-in conditioner in it (I read the label twice), but I was moved by my experience and I know that there is a reason for what I went through. This is not a trivial matter because whatever lesson I was to learn I'm not sure it got through.
I would like to apologize to Hillary, if she is reading this blog because she had to suffer through these stories once already. And I would like to thank her for not publicly calling me crazy.
I know there are many other things in my life right now that are pretty clear and explicit about their meanings. But I tend to selectively examine the minutia because I'm just that damn cerebral and obsessive.
Now if you are a regular viewer of my blogs (or work with me, or talk to me on any basis) you know I am addicted to Starbucks. There are some people who compare my desire for my White Chocolate Mocha to those addicted to far worse substances....like smoking or drugs or hogging the tv remote. This, however, has not swayed me in my (now) daily quest for the green-and-white logoed coffee that costs me $6 (I always buy a bottle of water - somehow that makes it less bad for me, like drinking Diet Coke is sooooo much better than regular Coke). So let me get to the point, the signs. Last week, I had two rather disturbing instances that caused me not to have Starbucks that day. The first episode involved me pulling into a parking space at Starbucks, while another patron was backing out. Now, I clearly had the right-of-way as I was almost into the space when my not-so-observerant neighbor was backing out of her space. I thought she could see me, but she kept right on backing up and was millimeters from my car when I finally honked my horn and she stopped. I clearly saw this as a not-so-subtle method of telling me not to get out of my car but to instead flee the Starbucks scene, which I did.
The second instance was less dramatic (although I will gladly kick it up if need be). I was in line at Starbucks, planning to order my White Chocolate Mocha when the cashier tells the patron three people ahead of me that they are out of hot lids. What? Huh? It's only 8:30 in the morning and you have no to-go lids for hot coffee? Could you just run now the street and borrow some from THAT Starbucks? But back to my story, I was so disappointed to hear that, I left the line, not even considering switching to a frappuccino drink, thereby gaining me a drink because they use different lids for cold drinks. I left sans Starbucks.
And the only signs don't pertain to Starbucks, but I haven't figured out the meaning of this sign, although it was very very obvious there was something behind it.
I recently bought a new bottle of hair conditioner. The day came when my current bottle was empty and I transfered my new bottle into the shower. The morning in question I was looking forward to new experience, and I got into the shower and immediately started daydreaming about winning the lottery. (Don't ask, but that's what I do in the shower, daydream about winning the lottery. This is most definitely the reason I will never win the lottery, besides the fact that I don't buy a ticket, the fact that I fantasize about it....) Anyway, I pour a whole heaping amount of conditioner in my hand and I start to massage it in my hair. And that's when I realize that this conditioner is pretty darn soapy and I am getting concerned. I squint at the bottle (because I'm blind as a bat) and it says SHAMPOO! So I've effectively experienced the miracle of turning Conditioner to Shampoo because I will bet eveything (including my lottery winnings) that I definitely and unequivocably bought Conditioner at CVS. So now I have a head full of shampooed (which means when it dries it will be like straw) hair. I'm not happy.
So I figure I will use the generic bottle of conditioner in the shower in order to counter-act the effects of this mistake, so I once again dump a huge amount in my hand and commence with the massaging of the hair, and guess what? MORE SOAPINESS! What??? I look at the generic bottle and I've just dumped more shampoo (and to make it worse it's the stuff that even the Dollar Store doesn't carry) on my scalp. My hair is going to fall out. I'm now moaning, and NOT in a good way. It takes me 15 minutes to rinse all of this stuff out of my head and my hair is drying quickly, even under the full blast of the running water.
My hair survived that day, after I used a bottle of leave-in conditioner in it (I read the label twice), but I was moved by my experience and I know that there is a reason for what I went through. This is not a trivial matter because whatever lesson I was to learn I'm not sure it got through.
I would like to apologize to Hillary, if she is reading this blog because she had to suffer through these stories once already. And I would like to thank her for not publicly calling me crazy.
I know there are many other things in my life right now that are pretty clear and explicit about their meanings. But I tend to selectively examine the minutia because I'm just that damn cerebral and obsessive.
The Greatest Mix CD Ever
I made the greatest mix CD ever, which I justify with the following comments. Even if the music isn't your type, I promise this CD will give you hours of pleasure. Surprise...there is not one single Keith Urban song on this list, although country music is equally represented.
1. Save Room - John Legend. Don't be afraid of a little bit of pain, pleasure is just on the other side. I love his sweet voice.
2. Nothing Left to Lose - Mat Kearney. Why does he spell his name with one "t"? This song reminds me of Counting Crows.
3. Wind It Up - Gwen Stefani. Finally! Someone samples "The Lonely Goatherd" from The Sound of Music. I love that movie and could easily sing all the songs. Sorry, Danielle, I know you hate the movie. I wish I had a little girl so I could share the movie with her.
4. Say It Right - Nelly Furtado.
5. Irreplaceable - Beyonce. To the left, to the left. I wish I believed in these lyrics. Awesome girl power song though.
6. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol. Those three words are said too much, They're not enough. Okay, I know they play this a lot on the radio but damn it's an awesome song. It's definitely in the soundtrack of the movie based on my life.
7. I Don't Feel Like Dancing - Scissors Sisters. This is a great song - it definitely sounds like the 70s - Bee Gees anyone? This would make a great workout song on my iPod. If only I exercised.
8. I Can't Get Next To You - The Temptations. So I was up late on Saturday night and Hope Floats was on HBO. Silly movie, but they lip sync to this song. So I make a mental note at 2 a.m. to download this song. Well, guess what? I already had it. Damn! I'm good.
9. Icebox - Omarion. I wasn't sure about this song, but I am so glad I added it. I got this icebox where my heart used to be.
10. We're Young and Beautiful - Carrie Underwood Come on! I used to believe that country music was too simple, but sometimes simple says it best. I like this song because of the tempo, it's twangy but not too annoying. Thanks to Heather - she always points me in the right direction with country music.
11. It Ends Tonight - All-American Rejects
12. Waiting On The World To Change - John Mayer I like it in spite of the fact that he's dating Jessica Simpson.
13. Whatever You Want - Tony! Toni! Tone!
14. Here In Your Arms - Hellogoodbye. Very 80s sounding.
15. Everything - Chely Wright Country music has a way of fitting my life exactly.
16. Good Life - Francis Dunnery This is my favorite song on the list. I heard it on Scrubs (which is my new favorite show). It is so beautiful. I am so tired of being angry and bitter. I can want happiness for you, and really mean it, without the snide remarks and sarcasm, and we can be happy. Here's to our problems; And here's to our fights; Here's to our achings; And here's to you having a good life.
17. My Love - Justin Timberlake He brought sexy back into my life, and now it's time for the lovin' to begin.
18. Want To - Sugarland Amazingly great song - all about the choices we make, or the choices we avoid because they are too difficult.
19. Streetcorner Symphony - Rob Thomas It's the last song on the CD (a very important spot as it sums everything up). I love his voice, so he could sing the ingredients of a box of cereal (but it would not be in the coveted last place spot).
I appreciate you sticking around through all 19 songs, and make sure you give each song a chance before dismissing me and rolling your eyes (cause I can see you all doing that out in internet-land).
1. Save Room - John Legend. Don't be afraid of a little bit of pain, pleasure is just on the other side. I love his sweet voice.
2. Nothing Left to Lose - Mat Kearney. Why does he spell his name with one "t"? This song reminds me of Counting Crows.
3. Wind It Up - Gwen Stefani. Finally! Someone samples "The Lonely Goatherd" from The Sound of Music. I love that movie and could easily sing all the songs. Sorry, Danielle, I know you hate the movie. I wish I had a little girl so I could share the movie with her.
4. Say It Right - Nelly Furtado.
5. Irreplaceable - Beyonce. To the left, to the left. I wish I believed in these lyrics. Awesome girl power song though.
6. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol. Those three words are said too much, They're not enough. Okay, I know they play this a lot on the radio but damn it's an awesome song. It's definitely in the soundtrack of the movie based on my life.
7. I Don't Feel Like Dancing - Scissors Sisters. This is a great song - it definitely sounds like the 70s - Bee Gees anyone? This would make a great workout song on my iPod. If only I exercised.
8. I Can't Get Next To You - The Temptations. So I was up late on Saturday night and Hope Floats was on HBO. Silly movie, but they lip sync to this song. So I make a mental note at 2 a.m. to download this song. Well, guess what? I already had it. Damn! I'm good.
9. Icebox - Omarion. I wasn't sure about this song, but I am so glad I added it. I got this icebox where my heart used to be.
10. We're Young and Beautiful - Carrie Underwood Come on! I used to believe that country music was too simple, but sometimes simple says it best. I like this song because of the tempo, it's twangy but not too annoying. Thanks to Heather - she always points me in the right direction with country music.
11. It Ends Tonight - All-American Rejects
12. Waiting On The World To Change - John Mayer I like it in spite of the fact that he's dating Jessica Simpson.
13. Whatever You Want - Tony! Toni! Tone!
14. Here In Your Arms - Hellogoodbye. Very 80s sounding.
15. Everything - Chely Wright Country music has a way of fitting my life exactly.
16. Good Life - Francis Dunnery This is my favorite song on the list. I heard it on Scrubs (which is my new favorite show). It is so beautiful. I am so tired of being angry and bitter. I can want happiness for you, and really mean it, without the snide remarks and sarcasm, and we can be happy. Here's to our problems; And here's to our fights; Here's to our achings; And here's to you having a good life.
17. My Love - Justin Timberlake He brought sexy back into my life, and now it's time for the lovin' to begin.
18. Want To - Sugarland Amazingly great song - all about the choices we make, or the choices we avoid because they are too difficult.
19. Streetcorner Symphony - Rob Thomas It's the last song on the CD (a very important spot as it sums everything up). I love his voice, so he could sing the ingredients of a box of cereal (but it would not be in the coveted last place spot).
I appreciate you sticking around through all 19 songs, and make sure you give each song a chance before dismissing me and rolling your eyes (cause I can see you all doing that out in internet-land).
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Seven Stages of Turning 36
Stage 1 - Shock and Disbelief
I was telling a story to the boyfriend, and I mentioned "when I was 16" and then I realize that I was 16 TWENTY YEARS AGO. Huh??? How the heck is that possible? I start running all the scenarios through my head.....perhaps I'm mistaken, after all it's only 2006 and I was born in......1970. And I shake my head wondering if I was asleep this whole time because I could swear my high school graduation was just a few years ago. I guess I should say "a few decades ago".
2. Stage 2 - Denial
It's not possible that I'm 36. I'm not a divorced, childless woman of 36. No. I think there is a typo on my birth certificate. I was actually born in 1980, so I'm just on the crux of 30. I don't look 36! And everyone knows that appearances are everything.
3. Stage 3 - Bargaining
Let's just say I'm in my 30's, let's do away with specific numerical references to the length of time we have been alive. If we do that, then I'll promise to be nicer to everyone, even those drink my sodas and my boyfriend's beer without permission.
4. Stage 4 - Guilt
This is the easy part. Even I wasn't turning 36, guilt is such an easy fall-back emotion for me. This stage should be called "normalcy".
5. Stage 5 - Anger
I can't really be angry about being alive. The alternative is much worse.
6. Stage 6 - Depression
Said it before, I'll say it again. 36 without a husband and kids. Wow, I've made some really stupid choices, especially during my 20s. That's why I should get credit for my 20s. Give me that decade back (oops, back to Stage 3 - Bargaining).
7. Stage 7 - Acceptance and Hope
Good things about 36 - it's the square of 6; the number of inches in a yard; and the highest number on a Roulette table. I hope that everything I've experienced in the last 36 years helps me become a better human being for my next 36 years.
I was telling a story to the boyfriend, and I mentioned "when I was 16" and then I realize that I was 16 TWENTY YEARS AGO. Huh??? How the heck is that possible? I start running all the scenarios through my head.....perhaps I'm mistaken, after all it's only 2006 and I was born in......1970. And I shake my head wondering if I was asleep this whole time because I could swear my high school graduation was just a few years ago. I guess I should say "a few decades ago".
2. Stage 2 - Denial
It's not possible that I'm 36. I'm not a divorced, childless woman of 36. No. I think there is a typo on my birth certificate. I was actually born in 1980, so I'm just on the crux of 30. I don't look 36! And everyone knows that appearances are everything.
3. Stage 3 - Bargaining
Let's just say I'm in my 30's, let's do away with specific numerical references to the length of time we have been alive. If we do that, then I'll promise to be nicer to everyone, even those drink my sodas and my boyfriend's beer without permission.
4. Stage 4 - Guilt
This is the easy part. Even I wasn't turning 36, guilt is such an easy fall-back emotion for me. This stage should be called "normalcy".
5. Stage 5 - Anger
I can't really be angry about being alive. The alternative is much worse.
6. Stage 6 - Depression
Said it before, I'll say it again. 36 without a husband and kids. Wow, I've made some really stupid choices, especially during my 20s. That's why I should get credit for my 20s. Give me that decade back (oops, back to Stage 3 - Bargaining).
7. Stage 7 - Acceptance and Hope
Good things about 36 - it's the square of 6; the number of inches in a yard; and the highest number on a Roulette table. I hope that everything I've experienced in the last 36 years helps me become a better human being for my next 36 years.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Target vs. Walmart
Everyone knows that Target beats Walmart as the place to shop. Here's proof:
1. Target has Starbucks mini-shoppes (spelling it this way means you are sophisticated). And Walmart? I think they have some Blimpie/7-11/McDonalds concoction with scary-looking employees.
2. You would not be ashamed to admit that the shirt or pants you are wearing came from Target. But I don't care how big your boobs look in that shirt or how skinny you look in those pants, you'd never admit they came from Walmart (maybe you'd whisper it but you'd be prepared for the backlash).
3. Target's bathroom's are relatively clean. However, I'd rather take a dump on the side of the road than go into a Walmart bathroom. I swear I've been in Walmart bathrooms where every single stall has some major explosion of human waste that would make Gil Grissom cringe. And if you don't know who Gil Grissom is, then shame on you.
4. Target's television ads are cute and chic; I'm partial to the red and white bullseye. Walmart's ads feature that yellow smiley bouncing around the screen, giving me a headache and making me drive to CVS for aspirin. (CVS is another story and the best drugstore ever).
5. Walmart has a nasty habit of selling EDITED CDs and not carrying certain magazines and authors. This is censorship and personally offensive to me. Perhaps they should worry more about censoring who visits their store than the merchandise they carry.
6. I'm not afraid to go to Target at night (although I'm still very careful, just not fearful) or on payday. However, Walmart at night or, even worse, payday is an experience that can make even the most macho among us afraid. It's like some Walmart sends out a beacon that only registers in the brains of those who are commanded by Beelzebub, and who have cashed in their entire week's wages, and directed them to the closest Walmart to shop. Of course, you've just stopped in to buy a few things, but along the way, you pick up a cart full of groceries, sundries, etc. As you stand in line, and the Walmart zombies circle around, you start to panic. You want to stay and purchase your goodies, but zombies are closing in and breathing on you, and next thing you know, you've run away from a cart full of $300 worth of frozen foods and meats.
7. You can pronouce Target as the sort-of cool "Tars-shay" while Walmart is referred to as "Murder Central".
I don't hate Walmart; I've been there twice this week alone. You can't beat their prices and they do have the handy self-checkout so you don't have been subjected to the cold-as-fish employees. Target just appeals to the bourgeoisie in me. Target is the type of store that you actually make plans to visit (i.e. "What are you doing this weekend?" "I'm going to the movies with dude and then we are heading to Target to look at televisions"), whereas Walmart is an after-thought (i.e., you just got through having sex with dude, and you both realize he wasn't wearing a condom).
1. Target has Starbucks mini-shoppes (spelling it this way means you are sophisticated). And Walmart? I think they have some Blimpie/7-11/McDonalds concoction with scary-looking employees.
2. You would not be ashamed to admit that the shirt or pants you are wearing came from Target. But I don't care how big your boobs look in that shirt or how skinny you look in those pants, you'd never admit they came from Walmart (maybe you'd whisper it but you'd be prepared for the backlash).
3. Target's bathroom's are relatively clean. However, I'd rather take a dump on the side of the road than go into a Walmart bathroom. I swear I've been in Walmart bathrooms where every single stall has some major explosion of human waste that would make Gil Grissom cringe. And if you don't know who Gil Grissom is, then shame on you.
4. Target's television ads are cute and chic; I'm partial to the red and white bullseye. Walmart's ads feature that yellow smiley bouncing around the screen, giving me a headache and making me drive to CVS for aspirin. (CVS is another story and the best drugstore ever).
5. Walmart has a nasty habit of selling EDITED CDs and not carrying certain magazines and authors. This is censorship and personally offensive to me. Perhaps they should worry more about censoring who visits their store than the merchandise they carry.
6. I'm not afraid to go to Target at night (although I'm still very careful, just not fearful) or on payday. However, Walmart at night or, even worse, payday is an experience that can make even the most macho among us afraid. It's like some Walmart sends out a beacon that only registers in the brains of those who are commanded by Beelzebub, and who have cashed in their entire week's wages, and directed them to the closest Walmart to shop. Of course, you've just stopped in to buy a few things, but along the way, you pick up a cart full of groceries, sundries, etc. As you stand in line, and the Walmart zombies circle around, you start to panic. You want to stay and purchase your goodies, but zombies are closing in and breathing on you, and next thing you know, you've run away from a cart full of $300 worth of frozen foods and meats.
7. You can pronouce Target as the sort-of cool "Tars-shay" while Walmart is referred to as "Murder Central".
I don't hate Walmart; I've been there twice this week alone. You can't beat their prices and they do have the handy self-checkout so you don't have been subjected to the cold-as-fish employees. Target just appeals to the bourgeoisie in me. Target is the type of store that you actually make plans to visit (i.e. "What are you doing this weekend?" "I'm going to the movies with dude and then we are heading to Target to look at televisions"), whereas Walmart is an after-thought (i.e., you just got through having sex with dude, and you both realize he wasn't wearing a condom).
What Is Missing From My Life
1. DVR. We have every single Brighthouse service: digital cable, broadband, digital phone, digital boxes, splitters, amplifiers, on-demand, but not DVR, which every other household in America has access to. Not us, we prefer to throw away our hard earned money every month on shitty reception and 200 million channels showing the same crappy movies over and over. How much does $200 a month buy you? Anacondas 2 and Monster-in-Law in pixelated freeze frame and Brighthouse subcontractors at the house every weekend. Enough already!!
2. Starbucks. I plan my weekends around Starbucks. Starbucks makes me so happy, even when I get the new Starbucks employee behind the counter who can't manage to yell to the Barista "Grande White Chocolate Mocha Light" without tripping over her own words. That's right, Light goes at the end of the shout-out. I'm addicted but not ashamed. I can't wait for Starbucks delivery (in my dreams!!!)
3. A Maid. The boyfriend is completely tired of me saying that I need to get organized. Organized is my code word for cleaning my room. Somehow, after work every day, my body breaks down and I am completely physically unable to take my clothes and hang them up in the closet. Instead, the clothes somehow migrate around my room in small piles; I imagine they are visiting each other as they are clothes that don't ordinarily hang out together (like my black skirt is currently entangled with my hot pink New York t-shirt). So I can't possibly pick them off of the floor until I'm sure that they have worked out all of their problems.
4. A skinny phone. I can't be thin in real life so my phone should substitute for me.
2. Starbucks. I plan my weekends around Starbucks. Starbucks makes me so happy, even when I get the new Starbucks employee behind the counter who can't manage to yell to the Barista "Grande White Chocolate Mocha Light" without tripping over her own words. That's right, Light goes at the end of the shout-out. I'm addicted but not ashamed. I can't wait for Starbucks delivery (in my dreams!!!)
3. A Maid. The boyfriend is completely tired of me saying that I need to get organized. Organized is my code word for cleaning my room. Somehow, after work every day, my body breaks down and I am completely physically unable to take my clothes and hang them up in the closet. Instead, the clothes somehow migrate around my room in small piles; I imagine they are visiting each other as they are clothes that don't ordinarily hang out together (like my black skirt is currently entangled with my hot pink New York t-shirt). So I can't possibly pick them off of the floor until I'm sure that they have worked out all of their problems.
4. A skinny phone. I can't be thin in real life so my phone should substitute for me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Finding My Treasure
Now that my shawl is complete (yarn purchased during the Orange Blossom Yarn Crawl in March), it is just hanging out in my foyer until I de...
-
My blog entries jump around too much; the paragraphs do not flow into each other smoothly. I don't do transitions very well. I'm g... -
I've been neglecting this blog because I ended up with a temporary job at a law firm and my brother was in town last week. Time to catc...