Showing posts from October, 2006

Target vs. Walmart

Everyone knows that Target beats Walmart as the place to shop. Here's proof:

1. Target has Starbucks mini-shoppes (spelling it this way means you are sophisticated). And Walmart? I think they have some Blimpie/7-11/McDonalds concoction with scary-looking employees.

2. You would not be ashamed to admit that the shirt or pants you are wearing came from Target. But I don't care how big your boobs look in that shirt or how skinny you look in those pants, you'd never admit they came from Walmart (maybe you'd whisper it but you'd be prepared for the backlash).

3. Target's bathroom's are relatively clean. However, I'd rather take a dump on the side of the road than go into a Walmart bathroom. I swear I've been in Walmart bathrooms where every single stall has some major explosion of human waste that would make Gil Grissom cringe. And if you don't know who Gil Grissom is, then shame on you.

4. Target's television ads are cute and chic; I'm partial t…

What Is Missing From My Life

1. DVR. We have every single Brighthouse service: digital cable, broadband, digital phone, digital boxes, splitters, amplifiers, on-demand, but not DVR, which every other household in America has access to. Not us, we prefer to throw away our hard earned money every month on shitty reception and 200 million channels showing the same crappy movies over and over. How much does $200 a month buy you? Anacondas 2 and Monster-in-Law in pixelated freeze frame and Brighthouse subcontractors at the house every weekend. Enough already!!

2. Starbucks. I plan my weekends around Starbucks. Starbucks makes me so happy, even when I get the new Starbucks employee behind the counter who can't manage to yell to the Barista "Grande White Chocolate Mocha Light" without tripping over her own words. That's right, Light goes at the end of the shout-out. I'm addicted but not ashamed. I can't wait for Starbucks delivery (in my dreams!!!)

3. A Maid. The boyfriend is com…

Melt My Heart

I spent the whole weekend with my boyfriend for the first time ever, and I remarked to him that he must be so sick of me.

Later that evening, while we were talking on the phone, he brought up my comment. He told me that he absolutely did not feel that way at all, that I was the best part of his life, and I made him very happy.

I was speechless. Partly because I was flattered by his expression of love, but more importantly because I believed him. He's not setting up or keeping me hanging on until something better comes around.

I am the something better, as he is for me.

I believe him. I can go the whole work week not seeing him because I trust him. I don't worry about where he is or who he is with because I know he is a loyal, faithful man.

I lived six miserable years always questioning and wondering about what my ex-boyfriend was doing, and who he was doing it with. This became a normal, and quite stressful, part of my life.
The reason this relationship feels so much easie…

Annoying Is Too Strong A Word

As much as I want to believe that I am a completely lovable person, the harsh reality (learned that term from the ex) is that I am generally, on the whole, pretty damn annoying. As proof I offer up:

1. I skipped out on my best friend's birthday dinner. Okay, well that's just bad form, not really defendable, or funny. Bonus Points: Everyone who did go got food poisoning.

2. I talk way too much about trivial things and I absolutely dramatize everything. Case in point: I thought the boyfriend and I were having "relationship" problems so I called him a total of seven times in one night. During our last conversation of the night, Steve said to me, "Sweetie, I've got a plate full of food in front of me and the football game is on. Do we really have to talk about this right now?" Mitigating Factor: The Dolphins lost that night.

3. I'm guilty of the "got a man, no time for the friends". I'm making it up to them this weekend, I swear…

Things So Far

So I took a trip with my boyfriend (seriously I'm almost 40 years old, and that term seems sooooo inappropriate but at the same time, I have to smile when I type it) to visit his father yesterday. His dad lives in The Villages, which is this Stepford-meets-The-Twilight-Zone retirement community in Leesburg. There are no children anywhere....just a swelling of retirees and golf carts. Everything has its place, with its own theme and matching color coordinated decor, landscaping, and architecture. Disney - children + doctors, dentists, and ambulances on every corner = The Villages.

I'm not being critical because I had a nice time later that night. One of the two Town Squares has live music on Saturday nights, and they played 40's and 50's old school big band and crooner music (of course, every 45 minutes they broke out with the Electric Slide and Macarena - I learned that line dancing is VERY popular in The Villages). Being outside on a Saturday night with the cool…