Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Don't Question My Authority


Oh my goodness, I can be such a bitch sometimes. Now, I know, looking at my sweet, innocent face, you can't imagine me being difficult. Oh, you just have to ask my latest dude, whose name is Steve, about how not all things are as they seem.

Steve hears from me during the work day, I'm all about sweetness and love. Sample text messages: "I can't stop thinking about you"; "I hope that you are safe"; "Everything will be better when I get to see you tonight". BARF!!!!

Now, don't get me wrong, I mean every single word of what I say when I say it, but don't expect it to carry through to the rest of the day. By the evening, I am in, let's say, a different frame of mind. This is where boyfriend dude is literally ambushed by a new Debbie.

Now that boyfriend Steve is sitting in front of me, small little things begin to annoy me. For example, why does he not put the bread on his bread plate??? He put it on his napkin, fer chrissakes!!!. What is that about?? Or why does he untie his shoes every single time he removes them? Why can't you just kick them off and don't even bother with the laces??? Or why does he stick his tongue out weird when he coughs??

My inability to look past the small thing makes me act like a sarcastic smart-aleck. I know I'm not earning any good girlfriend points by my actions, but man oh man, do his little quirks bother me.

The best part of this is that I get to learn sometime new (and possibly something more annoying than the last thing) about Steve every day. He's got quite a witty sense of humor and he's not afraid to put me in my place by some out-of-left-field remark. He makes me very happy, something I've been missing for so long.

Second rainbow I've seen in as many days.....it must mean something good.

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

The Cycle of a Relationship

As illustrated by me, the old lady of the house....

1) The Hookup - Those dotcoms, particularly Match and Eharmony can really open up your dating field, when you are done with the roommate's friend (who was never really that into you while you are passed out on the garage floor) or the ex-boyfriend (because you thought he still loved you but he's with someone else). First dates are fun because it's usually just coffee or ice cream, so passive and non-threatening, and you can be done within an hour.

2) The Follow-Up Dates - more pressure!!! You have to regularly dress up, shave your legs, wear makeup. Jeez! This is where the real work begins but the fun also starts here. How nice is it to walk around holding hands and "belonging" together. However, I long for the days when we reach the Comfort Zone, so I can take a break on doing my hair *every* *single* day.

3) Comfort Zone - Let's stay in and watch movies. Totally at ease and things come down from the peak of the dating period. I can eat my junk food in front of him, and not have to explain myself. Now I can stop being so damn nice and smiling all the time, which, of course, leads into....

4) You-Aren't-That-Cute-Anymore - At first, I made a slamming impression on the guy, so sweet and nice and fun-loving. But now that I have him in my clutches, I can show my true, and maybe not-always-so-nice attitude. Only the truly brave and noble will make it through, but here's a secret....I'm worth it.

This is where I live right now.....I can't predict the future but I can report later to tell you how things are progressing.