Sunday, July 24, 2016

Finding My Treasure

Now that my shawl is complete (yarn purchased during the Orange Blossom Yarn Crawl in March), it is just hanging out in my foyer until I decide if I should gift it to someone or if I'm keeping it for myself.  I think I want to make another one of these shawls (pattern is called Nostalgia Shawl on Ravelry).  While it was an easy pattern, the lacy part required some attention and I think ripped back those sections quite a few times before I actually got it right.   

I started working on a crocheted poncho.  Ugh!  I know you are thinking, "Poncho? Not a good look".  I plan to change your mind!  The colors are very nice and the crochet is very....holey?  Is that even a word?  I should have the first panel done very soon and will post a picture.  

Lately, my knitting/crochet projects are picking me, instead vice versa.  They appear on my radar, and I am lucky enough to find or have the perfect yarn for it.  Of course, nothing I make is perfect but I'm good at ripping back, starting over or just moving forward with the pattern, depending on how the pattern will best be served.  

A bit of this has spilled over into my life.  I never had an confidence in my work, so I worked extra hard to prove...what?  I'm not sure.  I only succeeded in making myself sick with worry and stress.   I decided that it was finally time for me to leave my job, which I hated anyway,   I started doing contract work and, for the first several weeks, I was loving life.  The change of scenery, the new workload, it was all working out for me.  

And then, suddenly, it was not working.  And I realized that it was never the work I hated, it was the atmosphere of the job.  But I was good at what I did simply because I am good at what I know.  Once I realized that, which I could have never done while still at my original job, I was ready to go back.   Try explaining that to your ex-employer.  "I had to break up with you in order to see how much I needed you."  It's a bit like dating.  Only I treasure someone wanting me for my mind so much more than for my body (as if that would ever happen....).  

I have to run to finish the first panel of my poncho - meeting a friend for coffee and knitting tomorrow and I want to be able to show off some of my project.  

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