I Never Promised You a Knitted Sweater

I bought two how-to-knit books at the bookstore (and another three fiction novels, I love bookstores). I spent two night just reading about knitting because I had to work late (thanks to the new no-overtime policy, rat bastards). I could never get out of work in enough time to get to the fabric store to actually buy some knitting needles and some yarn.

When I finally make it to JoAnn's, I buy a starter kit, some cheap yarn, and small scissors. Note to Self: There is a beginner's class for knitting at JoAnn's in June - I need to sign up. The first night I am totally confused. I can't decipher the pictures and the words describing how I am supposed to twist the yarn or my fingers or whatever! The next night I finally figure it out by watching a YouTube video. I finally figure how to get the first row of stitches on the needle.

Yep, I do this for two nights. Get one row of stitches on the needle and that's it. I unravel it and start all over. I can't figure out how to get to the next row. I read some more.

I figure out how to do more than one row. This is what I end up with:



I obviously didn't finish it off and I think it curled because of way I pulled it off. The curve is unintentional as I am supposed to be knitting a square of fabric.

I start over. This time I make a few more rows but then realize my stitches are getting mixed up or something because my project doesn't look right. This is what I end up with:



It's look a little more appropriate to a swatch of fabric, right? Whatever. Like you could do better. Of course, I just pull it off the needle (which is not the right away unless you want a sweater that unravels the first time you put it on).

After a week of lots and lots of do-overs, I finally understand how to get the yarn on the needle, how to do a knit stitch (perhaps not even, perfect stitches, but I still "get it"), and I figure out how to take the project off the needles (so that it stays secure).

This is my latest creation:



Let's look at it objectively, shall we? I need to weave those tails into the....well, for lack of a better word, the thing. And it's missing some stitches and it's kind of lop-sided, but it's finished off on all ends, and it's sort of beautiful to me. I am not a creative person. I don't draw or paint or cook or simply do something with my hands that amounts to a real tangible thing. One of the books I read said that knitting isn't really a skill but more of a craft because anyone can learn it. Oh great, just when I thought I was talented by creating this.....what was it? Oh yes, this thing. No matter. I'm proud that I spent two hours weaving yarn into a uneven 6" x 2" thing.