I'm feeling no pain right now. While I've been out of work for a whole week, I'm not feeling pressured to return to the land of the working man. I have been looking for other jobs in the area because I miss the interaction and the daily challenges any job can bring. My desire is to do something creative with my life; I love shopping at the craft stores and just browsing the aisles, touching the yarns, imagining if I had unlimited funds to buy and create all day. That dream makes me so happy. That's a first for me.
So I have enough money to last me through a few months; thus the reason for my seemingly-carefree life. I do need to find a job. I'm not crazy; just living for the moment for once. Living to be happy. Relaxing.
So I've completed the back panel of my sweater, and I'm almost done with the front portion of my sweater (picture follows). I don't think that this sweater is going to be proportionally correct. However, I'm still going full force. At least my actions will result in something moderately resembling a sweater.
The air conditioner in my apartment broke this weekend. Argh! All windows opened and two fans going. Didn't help much. I took me forever to fall asleep. I had to postpone knitting for two days as it was simply too uncomfortable for me to touch the wool. Mr. A/C repair man came by today and fixed it. Now I'm back in relative comfort and coolness.
Additionally, the battery in my car just died. I had to replace the battery - at a cost of $90. Things are breaking. At a time when I would normally see this as an indication that my life is crap, I just take these in stride. This is what happens - normal course of life. I'm happy to let the part of me go that always wants to assume the worst.
I am not nervous anymore because I know what I want. I want happiness. And it's easy to get it if I would just learn to relax. And have hope.