I'm into my second (and last) week of babysitting. I've settled into a routine with the 2-year old. She's still unhappy to see me on certain occasions (I can't hold it against her). After this assignment, I have to start focusing on finding regular employment. I miss regular work, and the freedom that a paycheck brings you. It doesn't have to be a big paycheck, after all, there are no kids and no husband in my life. It's just me and a few bills.
I'm slowly working on my knitting. Funny thing is that once you learn one skill, you have to learn four other skills to finish a piece. I'm so backwards at blocking and seaming. I think I need to find a group of knitters in my area to sit down with and learn and watch.
I'm making a purse for the little girl I'm babysitting. It needs to be seamed and I have to make a cord for the shoulder strap. I'm not quite sure what an I-cord is, but I've seen it in my knitting books and I'm wondering if this would work.
My brother's one-year wedding anniversary was last Friday (the start of the Beijing Olympics). He's a very successful man; looking back on our childhood, it's so nice to see that he is happy and enjoying his life. I don't feel jealous or envious, even though I want those things for myself. His life doesn't cause me to break into fits (as I do when I compare myself to others); normally my brother and I are very competitive, but it's almost in a silly way. I can honestly say that I have no problem or neurosis about my (younger) brother far exceeding me in the life department.
I am in the process of accepting what I have in life. The past 10 years has made me desire a life with manageable stress and the simple basics.
Last Saturday, I was looking at silly stuff on the web. I found a site with the 25 worst album covers (this is the page here). Looking at the albums (and the subsequent comments from others) sent me into a fit of laughter, of which I haven't done in FOREVER. It felt so good. I was so happy to be laughing at something so silly. It was so intoxicating.